Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
