Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The air taste purple.
Randomize
