Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
