There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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