you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
