True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
