So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
