Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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