Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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