Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
