omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nobody cheats on THIS.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
