I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my poor anus
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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