like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
