rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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