She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
