Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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