My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
