highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
