mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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