After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
