don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
