I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
