I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize