the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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