Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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