I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
