none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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