i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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