Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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