I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
