he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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