I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
