at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
