no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
