I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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