Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
