Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
