Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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