I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
