Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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