Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
