his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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