and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize