my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am mentally ready for anal.
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