I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
