Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
