:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
