Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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