I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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