I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no you cant smoke seaweed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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