none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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