Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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