these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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