it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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