Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
