please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
