They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I AM VODKA MAN
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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