well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
