I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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