Where did you get a picture of my penis
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
