his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
